So yes, according to your description, your fiancée may suffer from a version of this.īut she has moved into “your” house. Kondo announced that the quest for tidy perfection had taken up too much space in her own life, and that she was now rearranging her priorities in a quest for more balance.Ĭompulsive decluttering does resemble hoarding, in that extreme anxiety and compulsions drive the desire to obsessively remove “stuff.” People who suffer with this will get rid of things they will need later, then replace the item, and then remove that, too. How do I defend decisions when being branded a “hoarder” for useful/needed/cherished objects?ĭear R: Several years ago, I sardonically suggested that decluttering expert Marie Kondo had a compulsive disorder (she sends so much to the landfill!). Please raise awareness of compulsive decluttering. I’m not sure how to help her (or keep my stuff), as she says I need help with “hoarding.” She donated an occasionally used, older kitchen appliance and later the same day purchased another. If something is not being used now (even if needed or useful later), out it goes. We have no photos or artwork on our bedroom walls because the visual incompatibility makes her anxious and upset. I make space for her in our home (by removing my stuff) and she leaves the space empty, but then complains there is no room for her things. Some things I treasure have “disappeared.” When she is stressed, she “purges” objects and sometimes buys others, only to return or donate them. We had to end the visit early because she was so anxious!Īsk Amy: She used to be an awesome friend. While visiting a friend who was downsizing I realized how anxious stuff, boxes and clutter made my fiancée. I’ve been inside homes that were virtually empty due to this. I understand that hoarding is an obsessive-compulsive disorder - but I also see compulsive decluttering as a big problem. I’m a design professional with a lot of experience working with clients in their homes. I’ve disposed of multiple dumpster loads of my ancestors’ stuff, in order to have room to live in my inherited home. Long before Marie Kondo and hoarding intervention TV came along, I was in therapy and successfully dealing with this. My family had hoarding issues for generations. I’d be interested to hear from readers: Has my generation raised a passel of rude-niks?ĭear Amy: I’m a middle-aged man. It has never occurred to me that this behavior might be generational, however. I was raised in an area that is overall on the far less-friendly side of the spectrum (whereas I tend to be more outgoing). Dear Perplexed: During my travels, I’ve noted general regional differences regarding how outwardly “friendly” strangers are to one another.
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